The Rip by Portishead

“The Rip” by Portishead came out in April 2008 — the same month I had my first grand mal seizure. Actually, at that time we didn’t know it was a seizure. I was home alone and had no memory of why I awoke on the tile of the bathroom floor with chipped front teeth and a black eye. The doctor thought I may have had a heart attack, so I wore a loop recorder for two weeks. No problem registered, so we dismissed the event as one time only. (The next grand mal seizure happened in October 2009 with many witnesses on the subway. Mystery solved.)

Back then, I was listening to this song over and over because it was so in line with the feelings in my heart. I came across it this week after a long time and realised that with brain surgery, I am once again in such a state. In my mind, there is this sweet light that sees all the beauty just beneath everything we perceive as life. Yet still, at times, there are shadows that come and I am so sad.



As she walks in the room, scented and tall
Hesitating once more
And as I take on myself and the bitterness I felt
Realize that love flows

Wild white horses, they will take me away
And the tenderness I feel
Will send the dark underneath
Will I follow?

Through the glory of life I will scatter on the floor
Disappointed and sore
And in my thoughts I have bled for the riddles I’ve been fed
Another lie moves over

Wild white horses, they will take me away
And the tenderness I feel
Will send the dark underneath
Will I follow?

Wild white horses, they will take me away
And the tenderness I feel
Will send the dark underneath
Will I follow?

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