Two Views – video art

Sometimes when having a seizure, the visions on the dream side are so beautiful. What is happening physically can be disturbing for others, but I’ve never remembered anything about it.

This video tries to show both sides. The seizure footage is from when I was in the Epilepsy Monitoring Unit at Toronto Western Hospital in November 2011. The watercolour look of lotuses gives the feeling of what I have sometimes felt in my mind while in a seizure state.

Many thanks to Toronto Western Hospital for giving me the footage of my seizures for use in storytelling of the experience. The music I made in Scape, which is amazing. For the lotus paintings, I found videos from YouTube and applied many plug-ins to make the look of watercolor dream vision. My gratitude to garth0334 and theperfectlotus for their beautiful and spiritual videos of waterlilies.


16 thoughts on “Two Views – video art

  1. This is amazing. I like the comparison to a lotus flower as your seizure unfolded so did the lotus flower. I noted the blue lights that probably represent the radiation of the waves in your brain. You have not lost your creative talents as a result of brain surgery that is for sure.

  2. Hi Raji, this is a powerful piece. I like the fragility you show and the fine balance between the soft and muted flowers and the random high pitched sounds and your body’s physical reactions to the seizures. It is an interesting paradox on the controlled and uncontrolled, the silent and sounds, the colours and white, the anticipated actions and the uncontrolled. This piece pulls at my heart strings and makes you even more brave and courageous to me. Love you Pam

    • Oh dear one. How your kind words move me. Making the piece, I wasn’t thinking consciously of such contrast. You know what it’s like creating! But your description is so true. My mom’s reaction (above) gave me the same feelings. I am so lucky for all this experience of life – ultimately the view of its beauty beyond the suffering. Thank you for your love. I love you too!

  3. I LOVE your video. Good for you on continuing the spirit of Outfront. It is such an Outfront work!! I love finding out what such an experience feels like ‘on the inside’. I’m glad that it doesn’t feel as bad as it looks. It really does appear to be quite distressing. I’m so glad you are ‘distracted’.

    • Haha! My dear old friend and Outfront compadre :) your words are so kind. Thank you. I am so happy you connect it with Outfront (our old CBC radio show that was first person storytelling). My dream is that when I am back at work, I can be part of a rebirth on CBC Radio. Like hello – it’s one of the prime medias today! YouTube and all its many cousins where people share their lives!

  4. Dear Niece,

    Being old and faint of heart– my usual excuses– all I can say(after viewing your creation): You are brilliant as you were when you perfected the data I handed to you and you turned the uncut stone into “A Fragile Son”, our diamond of an audio in 2006 for Outfront program.
    It is a privilege to have known you, who has shared with us, cheerily, her moments of such pain and adversity, With such courage.

    I wish you full recovery and soon…

    And I pray for you…

  5. Even though I have been having seizures for over 20 yrs it still disturbs me a little to see a tonic clonic seizure. I can confirm your insight that it looks far worse than what you are feeling during the seizure. I can relate to your analogy of the lotus flower as what we feel on “the inside.” Very powerful and nicely expressed!

    • Dear Jerry,

      Such beautiful observation from a friend who is also an epilepsy patient. I am so lucky to have you to listen to and with whom to speak. Thank you for sharing your experience with those who have not been there.

      With deep gratitude,

    • Thank you. That is so kind. But wow! Just saw your site for the first time. Saw those pieces that were at the AGO. Everybody – please look – this man is amazing. He’s in my epilepsy support group and he is a deeply kind soul who came to visit me with Jerry (comment above) and another when I was in the EMU with subdural monitoring.

      You are an incredible human being. I am so lucky to know you. Please let me know if you want me to link to pieces from here. Would be so honoured.

      Thank you “billiam”!

      • Raji, Thank you! Sure, I would love to be linked to Subtle Being. You are a wonderful storyteller. Your vision crosses the chasm between neuroscience and mysticism… By sharing your experience you are not only creating more awareness about epilepsy, you are also giving us new insights our own consciousness.

        Thank you!

      • Thank you for your kindness and words about a vision of the chasm between neuroscience and mysticism. I have never seen such an obvious part of my being. I am so grateful for your wisdom. You are so right.

        I also feel very lucky and happy to learn more about your art creations and practices. They are deep and anxious, wonderful and sad, beautiful and needed at this time in our human existence.

        Thank you for your work!

        Hope to see you again soon. :) Raji

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