a strange song about many beautiful, golden beings covered in fur that i saw in a dream during an early seizure. they all came around and protected me from dark clouds. i just felt like making this song about them tonight.
Sometimes when having a seizure, the visions on the dream side are so beautiful. What is happening physically can be disturbing for others, but I’ve never remembered anything about it.
This video tries to show both sides. The seizure footage is from when I was in the Epilepsy Monitoring Unit at Toronto Western Hospital in November 2011. The watercolour look of lotuses gives the feeling of what I have sometimes felt in my mind while in a seizure state.
Many thanks to Toronto Western Hospital for giving me the footage of my seizures for use in storytelling of the experience. The music I made in Scape, which is amazing. For the lotus paintings, I found videos from YouTube and applied many plug-ins to make the look of watercolor dream vision. My gratitude to garth0334 and theperfectlotus for their beautiful and spiritual videos of waterlilies.
There is a sound that I will never forget. It’s a sound I make, but the thing is I’ve never heard it myself. That’s because when it comes out, I’m always unconscious in an epileptic fit.
Based on the accounts of those who have witnessed me, I went in search of the sound online. I sample what I found at varying speeds — speeds as low as three percent — in order to create an imagined soundtrack for my seizures.
Making this audio piece, I felt sad. So at the end of the process, I sang to it and mixed that in too. The video is from one of the jellyfish tanks at the Vancouver Aquarium.
A Seizure’s Lament was first commissioned by the 2011 Deep Wireless Festival in Toronto and aired on CBC Radio’s Living Out Loud. It later aired on CBC Radio’s Tapestry and was featured at the Third Coast Filmless Festival in Chicago and PRX’s How Sound show.